Chapel Saying of Dr. Bob Jones Sr. Part 1

Finish the job.

You can do anything you ought to do.

You can borrow rain, but you cannot borrow character.

When in doubt, play safe.

You can't do wrong and get away with it.

Jokes

This is why I left the radio station!!
Q: Bachelor Number One, how much do you make?
A: $275,000 per year.Q: And what do you do?
A: I'm a lawyer.
Q: Bachelor Number Two, how much do you make?
A: I make $300,000 a year.Q: And what do you do?
A: I'm a doctor.
Q: Bachelor Number Three, how much do you make?
A: I make $17,500 per year.
Q: And what are the call letters?

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On a hot summer day I was sitting near
an open window sewing and keeping an
eye on my three grandsons playing outside. "Let's play cops and robbers," said Mike.
"I'll be a robber!" Terry and Melvin wanted
the same role. So they needed another
person to play. "What about Grandma?" Terry suggested. "Nah," Mike replied, "she can't run fast enough." "What can we do to make her mad?" asked
Melvin. "Old people can run real fast when
they get mad!"


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DOG'S NOTES TO SELF:~ The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff. ~ I do not need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm lying
under the coffee table. ~ I will not roll my toys behind the fridge, behind the sofa or
under the bed. ~ I must shake the rainwater out of my fur before entering the
house. ~ I will not eat the cats' food--before they eat it or after theythrow it up. ~ I will stop trying to find the few remaining pieces of clean
carpet in the house when I am about to get sick. ~ I will not throw up in the car. ~ I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc. just because Ilike the way they smell. ~ "Kitty box crunchies"--although they are tasty--are not food. ~ I will not eat any more Kleenex or napkins and then redeposit
them in the backyard after processing. ~ The diaper pail is not a cookie jar. ~ I will not chew my human's toothbrush and not tell them. ~ I will not chew crayons or pens, especially not the red ones,
or my people will think I am hemorrhaging. ~ When in the car, I will not insist on having the window rolled
down when it's raining outside. ~ We do not have a doorbell. I will not bark each time I hear
one on TV. ~ I will not steal my mom's underwear and dance all over the
backyard with it. ~ The sofa is not a face towel. Neither are mom & dad's laps. ~ My head does not belong in the refrigerator. ~ I will not bite the officer's hand when he reaches in for
mom's driver's license and car registration. ~ I will not play tug-of-war with dad's underwear when he's
on the toilet. ~ I will not use "roll around in the dirt" as an option just aftergetting a bath. ~ Sticking my nose into someone's crotch is not an
acceptable way of saying hello. ~ I will not come in from outside and immediately drag my butt
across the carpet. ~ The toilet bowl is not a never-ending water supply and just
because the water is blue, it doesn't mean it is cleaner. ~ The cat is not a squeaky toy so when I play with him and he
makes that noise, it's usually not a good thing.